What Do I Actually Say?

25 Safe Adult scripts for parents and carers who want their child to feel safe telling them the truth.
Most children do not start with the big truths.
They start with the small ones.
The spilled drink.
The “I don’t want to hug them.”
The “someone was mean.”
The “I did something wrong.”
This free guide gives you simple words for the moments where your response matters.

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Jade Robertson

TEDx Speaker, writer, mother and founder of UN/SPOKEN

Who am I?

I am a TEDx speaker, writer, mother, law and justice student, and founder of UN/SPOKEN. My work explores how silence is built, why truth can feel dangerous to speak, and how adults can create safer conditions for children to tell the truth.

The Safe Adult exists because children do not just need adults with good intentions. They need adults who know how to respond.

What’s inside the guide?

Children test safety with small truths first.
Before they tell us the big thing, they watch how we respond to the small thing.

what to say when your child tells the truth after doing something wrong
what to say when your child says no to touch or affection
what to say when your child tells you something uncomfortable
what to say when they are scared you will be angry
what to say when you reacted badly and need to repair